Images

We got pictures!  In the coming days, we'll be going through the pictures & sharing them with you.  In the meantime, enjoy this fun, depressing compilation on the bridal experience from our friends at Everything Is Terrible.

Synergy / Frying Pan

Cross-posting from my blog entry on The Frying Pan, "I'm Creating Jobs- How About You?"  The Frying Pan - a project of LAANE - is a new blog on the economy where I am a regular contributor.

I wrote this well over a month ago, but sometimes things take a while to get through the editing process, I guess.  Take a look, after the jump.

Mailbag

I tend not to be a greeting card kinda guy, but some of the cards that we got were truly excellent and really need to be recognized.  In no particular order, after the jump, are the five cards that made me smile the most.

Wedding Ceremony

After the jump, you can see the entire text of the wedding ceremony.  Again, we want to thank everyone who had a hand in this, especially Solemnizer Todd Polenberg, who helped to edit and shape our ideas into this final product, and who wrote the Charge for the Couple.  Also Sanjukta Paul, for her essay/reading which helped to ground this enterprise of marriage in an Aristotelian worldview.  And of course the rest of our wedding party - Josh, James, Albert, Claire & Julia - for being so game and reading (and, along with Leigh, singing) what we'd written or selected.

I've made a

Not enough postage on the marriage certificate; it was returned in the mail.  Why? What did you think I meant?

Lost & Found & Coming Attractions

Now that we've packed half of Sonoma County into our garage, got twelve uninterrupted hours of sleep (followed by a nap this afternoon for Liz), and bid the respective families farewell, we're about ready to start packing for our honeymoon, for which we leave late tomorrow night.

I am delighted by Liz's montage below.  And, of course, I do have my own such montage playing constantly in my head.  But I remain way too scattered and fragmented to say anything too coherent, other than the thing I just cannot say enough: THANK YOU.  Thank you for coming and sharing and participating; thank you for helping; thank you for all of the many flavors of generosity you exhibited; thank you for being a part of our lives.

But before we go, we did want to handle a couple of logistical matters...

Wedded Bliss

Here are some of the memorable moments that have been floating across my consciousness during the past 48 hours, in no particular order:

Having all of my pre-ceremony jitters dissolve upon hearing your cheers and applause, and then having SO MUCH FUN up there; Todd Polenberg delivering the line "I am the Solemnizer" in a furry tuxedo and top hat; hearing "We Do!" ring loud and clear; Sanjukta Paul singing "30 Days in the Hole," encouraged by Jill Jorgensen; my dad's "wildest dreams" line, and then his beautiful speech; watching my parents dance together; James Elmendorf and Kristen Reeg's incredibly awesome poker chip pinata wedding gift; worrying about Morgan Fahey possibly being dead, because her phone was on the fritz and it is totally unlike her not to get back to you, and then having her show up to the center with the most amazing floral arrangements known to weddings; how amazing my sisters looked; "Go Hawkeyes!"; time and again noticing Albert Lowe and An Le quietly taking care of business all night long w/r/t organization and clean-up, because they kick ass; my sister Claire Hamilton's making fun of me in her speech by calling wedding cakes fascist in a British accent, and also all of her dance moves; Matt Messbarger's assertion that I had "cold eyes" in high school; Josh Kamensky's toast to partners in crime; Captain Automatic's encore performance, on ukulele, of my bachelorette party song; the O'Kelly Family ruling the dance floor; David Hammer doing the splits for us at the end of the night (he was on spirit squad in high school); the Hora; dancing to Sweet Caroline as the last song; hanging with Todd, Dan Braun, and Matt O'Malley until 5 in the morning; the fact that I left the tag on my wedding dress; cuddling with Holly Myers and Heather Joy at the after party; most of all, looking out over all of you gathered there, and realizing in a very profound way how blessed we are in family and friends. I so wish we could do it all again.

More thanks to come, from Jon and me. But in the meantime, what do you remember?

Shuttle between Burbank Airport and Glendale Hilton

Just a quick note: if you are taking the shuttle from Burbank, they do not continuously circle.  You must call the hotel and ask to be picked up.  818-956-5466.

National Punctuation Day!

It has come to my attention that Jon and I are to be married on National Punctuation Day. Could there be a more auspicious beginning? I think not.

After the Die Is Cast

I've had this ear worm all day-- not a snippet of song, but a snippet of Sorkin.

One of my favorite episodes of the West Wing is "Election Day," from early Season 4, during that brief moment before Robe Lowe left but after Joshua Malina had already come on board.

Malina is Will Bailey, a tragic/comic figure: a liberal Democratic consultant running a campaign in conservative Orange County.  Long odds, even before his candidate died several days prior to the election.  But he keeps on, believing he can win.  He has a complex analysis, based on factors like higher than expected labor turnout, as well as depressed overall turnout because of the expected blowout and even because of the weather.  But really he's just quixotic.

His sister urges him to calm down and concede, just a few hours before polls close: "The die is cast."

His response, and my ear worm: "There's a moment after you cast the die but before it hits the table.  Breathe wrong and you'll change the way it lands."

I [heart] Joshua Malina.

BTW, forgive any audio sync snafus; I'm not a very good video editor.  Still: enjoy the classic Sorkin.

P.S.: Thursday is when I stop worrying about the breathing. 

A WEEK AWAY!

I can't believe we are only seven days away. Jon and I are hunkering down this weekend to iron out final details. He's a little more stressed than I am, but that's sort of usual. Its been nice, in this process, to have had big, intimidating tasks be not so hard in the end, once we sat down and talked about them. Sometimes thinking about doing something can make the task itself seem scary and complicated. The only way out of that is just to start doing it and see what happens.

Speaking of scary and complicated, check out these pictures of Jon's bachelor party that appeared in the LA Weekly!

Home Cooking

Jon and I are really excited to be using Homegirl Cafe, a non-profit restaurant and catering business, as our caterer. The cafe is a subsidiary of Homeboy Industries, begun by Father Gregory Boyle, SJ, in the Boyle Heights neighborhood of Los Angeles as a jobs program offering alternatives to gang involvement. One really cool thing about Homeboy is that they also run their own garden, so that a significant percentage of vegetables and herbs used by the cafe are, in fact, home-grown.

When we started planning the wedding, we met with a lot of catering vendors. A LOT. Some were big operations with mediocre food; some were small operations with amazing food but not enough staff for a 100+ person wedding; some were big operations with amazing food but were too expensive; a few were scam artists; and one was associated with some sort of vegetarian cult, which we awkwardly discovered during the tasting.

From the outset, Jon and I both saw food as pretty central to the wedding itself. A party just doesn't feel like a party without plentiful, good food. In most cultures, feasting is an inherent part of celebration, and as something that sustains and nourishes, food has a symbolic resonance especially suited to this occasion. But deeper into the wedding-industrial complex, it also felt important that we work with an outfit that shares our values. We wanted the spirit with which the meal is conceived, prepared, and served to be aligned with the spirit of our day.

There were a couple of real contenders, but after tasting Homegirl's veggie carnitas, there could be only one (that reference is for you if you are reading this, Leigh Bardugo). They will be preparing a Mexican feast for us---tacos, rice, beans, roasted vegetables, a quinoa salad, and fresh-made salsas. There will be margaritas at the bar. What more could you need? Oh right, meat. Oh well.

Beware of the LAPD

Apparently, David Hammer has come to town early.  We sincerely hope that he gets all of this silliness cleared up before the wedding.  Our hearts go out to Gina.

Martha Stewart Weddings

Recently, my sister Claire was a bridesmaid in a wedding that is featured in the fall issue of Martha Stewart Weddings magazine. She's the second from the left. Flipping through this slide show, I'm struck by how our wedding is going to be absolutely nothing like this in any way whatsoever. No free tote bags for any of you people, sorry.

Throughout the planning process, I have purposefully avoided bridal magazines for precisely the reason that, reading this one, I began to feel a little panicky that we aren't going to have a charming vintage typewriter, a signature cocktail, a custom-designed booklet of our love, or a decor budget over $100. And even without the magazines, it has been really easy to get sucked into the mode of thinking that there is a "right" way to do a wedding: that it has to cost a certain amount; that there are baseline frills that, no matter their importance to Jon and me, personally, one cannot do without; and that it has to look perfect. That last mandate is the most insidious---especially for me, because I like things to look perfect. And this Martha Stewart wedding looked really perfect.

So, it is during these trying times that I return to my "Four Fs" wedding mantra: family, friends, food, and freely flowing booze: this is all that matters. Everything else is wedding cake. Which we are not going to have, by the way. But there will be a nice selection of desserts.

Groomzilla

Planning a wedding is hard work. We will have had a whole lot of help from our friends and families, up to and including the day itself, and that's made a huge difference. We have also assembled what we are calling our Tiger Team: a task force of dedicated souls who will make sure the tables are set, the centerpieces are placed, that each guest can find her seat, and that I have a drink in my hand at all times.

Very special thanks is due, though, to my husband to be. Those type A qualities of his, which I admit I often find to be a pain in the ass in the context of the everyday, are truly shining. We had a two-hour logistics meeting this afternoon, mapping out all that needs to happen between now and the wedding and scheduling a play-by-play for the day itself. Would it ever occur to you to worry about who's going to make sure the sign-in book gets back to the hotel? How about assigning someone to collect the leftover alcohol at the end of the night? How about making sure there is someone to press "play" on the ipod for the processional march when the ceremony commences? And then making sure that person presses "stop" before taking their seat? Page after page of Excel spreadsheets detail all of these things, and more. And as tedious as it is to think about every last detail, it means we will be able to enjoy ourselves with you on the day, because most everything will be accounted for. So thank you, pookie!

This is not to say that this wedding is going to be a rigid affair. It means that, sort of like Disneyland, the unbridled fun is made possible because of behind-the-scenes machinations that, well, border on fascist. Though, I should add that my favorite part of the schedule is the part where I spend the afternoon in hair and makeup while Jon and the menfolk ready the space. See what a good team we make!

Dance to the Music

I am so excited to dance at this wedding, people. When I first landed in L.A., I used to go out dancing all the time. I was particularly fond of the revived Rodney Bingenheimer's English Disco on Melrose Avenue. Sometimes, late at night, you can still see Rodney at that Denny's on Sunset Boulevard in Hollywood.

We are going to have an excellent musical program for you. Matt Messbarger has crafted a cocktail hour mix that will surely be delightful. (Matt not only has good taste, he has access to all kinds of 1950s oddities, such as "I'm a Mummy," which he once put on CD for me that he titled "Goofy Tunes." It is by far the most normal song on that compilation, and it is quite awesome to have it blasting from your car as you drive around L.A.) My parents have scoured their record collection to find 30s and 40s jazz and big band gems for the dinner hour. And later, for the get-down hour, our DJ Jim Evens will be spinning (via a Mac, of course) soul, garage, Motown, plus your requests, so get them to us if you haven't already!

Speaking of Jim, tune in to Showtime at 7:30PST tonight if you want to check out his band, Helen Stellar, performing in the Gregg Araki movie KABOOM! Also, he's from Chicago. +2.

See you on the dance floor!

Romantic Semantics

Here is some advice in courtly love from best man and wedding emcee Josh Kamensky.

Sorry ladies, he's spoken for.

Best. Sisters. Ever.

This weekend I was in Chicago for a small bridal shower hosted by my Aunt Ellen. My aunts, cousins, sisters, and mom were in attendance, and we played silly games and drank sangria and ate quiche, and it was a most fun and excellent afternoon. I also got some very lovely gifts, both for myself and for our home. But of all the biggest surprise of the day was from my sisters Claire and Julia, who bought me a wedding dress!

For those of you following the story, I had a really great vintage c.1960s dress, by 1950s-60s gown designer Seymour Jacobson, I planned to wear. When I picked it up from the dry cleaners a few weeks ago, it was ruined--the cleaning solution they used dissolved the dress's gold thread embroidery in patches, and there is no way to fix it. I've been scrambling to find a replacement, with not much luck. I've also been intent on using this debacle as an exercise in homing in on what should be important about the day---namely, that our friends and family are there, that the booze flows freely, that the music is good. And while in my heart of hearts I know that's all true, I still want to wear an awesome dress, dammit! But leave it to Claire, who has worked in fashion in New York for many years and who has an amazing eye for interesting clothes, to take command of the situation. She, with Julia's assistance and treasured second opinion (Claire can be a bit more adventurous than Julia or I), scooped up a lovely cream satin dress from the Marc Jacobs RTW Spring 2011 collection on super sale (a shout-out here to my mother for instilling in us the important value "never buy retail") that fits me perfectly, even though it is a size smaller than my usual (ironic shout-out to Eleanor Antin). More important, it's going to be extremely meaningful to me to walk down the aisle in a dress that my sisters helped choose, especially because my first dress was one I found with the help of my mom. I also like the symmetry of a move from Jacobson to Jacobs!

So, I have a dress. Now I just need to find shoes.

Best Case Scenario

Brand New Suit?

I was super excited to get home today to find a Citibank credit card early fraud warning alert message for Jon on our answering machine. I think this means he was successful in purchasing a new suit for the wedding! Either that or his wallet was stolen at Nordstrom Rack. Best man Josh Kamensky texted me a picture of Jon in a black Sean John number around 3:30 or so; he looked pretty dapper. I like the idea that he'll be wearing the clothing of a rap mogul to our wedding.

Enjoy the Wonders of Los Angeles!

The lovely Morgan has permitted us to re-post this great list she made for a friend's wedding blog some months ago. It is a great overview of places to visit, eat, and drink, many of them on Los Angeles's East Side, in neighborhoods roughly adjacent to the one where our wedding will be. I would also like to recommend the Uprights Citizens Brigade Theater in Hollywood as a great and cheap place to see improv and stand-up. One of this city's great natural resources is its comedic talent. Full list after the jump.

Carving: A Traditional Sculpture

I'm thinking about Eleanor Antin's work Carving: A Traditional Sculpture as I think about my unfortunate wedding dress situation (thanks, Esteem Dry Cleaners of Pasadena!) and in general the cultural pressure on brides to look perfecto. The following is from Wikipedia; I think, write, and edit art stuff all day long and so am consequently too lazy at the moment to write something about it myself. I got to know Antin's work when I helped edit the WACK! Art and the Feminist Revolution catalogue for the Museum of Contemporary Art, Los Angeles, in 2009, and I think she's pretty cool.  Description after the jump.

A Word about the Registry

Many of you have been asking whether Jon and I will have a wedding registry, and it’s something we’ve been back and forth on over the last few months, because we do understand it makes things easier for guests who don’t want to guess at what we have or need or want for our household.

The thing is, though, that we are kind of old. And we’ve been living together for five years already. Just those two factors, alone, have resulted in enough towel sets, wine glasses, flatware, throws, salt and pepper dispensers, and pillowcases for a small encampment. Seriously, we are two people, and we have, at last count, 15 towels. When I was 30, I decided to invest in a few sets of very nice Reidel wine glasses because I didn’t know if I’d ever be married and I didn’t want to wait. When Jon was in his early 20s, he invested in a set of pots and pans so precious that I am forbidden from using a metal whisk or spatula while cooking for fear of scratching them. (I’m not kidding. You’d think a restaurant quality set of pots and pans would be able to withstand, like, common kitchen utensils, but apparently this is not the case. Either that, or Jon is just being anal. Either way, you get the point.) It is the amassing of these decisions through the years that has resulted in the accumulation of more stuff than we really know what to do with.

This is not to say that we don’t have items we want to purchase for the house, but they tend to be expensive things that are not appropriate as single items on a wedding registry. I desperately want to purchase a dining room table, for example, before I turn 40. And after the great power surge of 2010 left us without a stereo receiver, it is time to update our sound system. And, wish of all wishes, Jon and I want to take a nice trip together after the wedding. Fact: we have only ever traveled to Baltimore, Chicago, Florida, New York, Vegas in our seven years together as a couple. I will let you guess which trip was not family related.

It goes without saying that the most valuable gift you could give us is coming to our wedding, and we know that many of you are traveling great distances at great expense to be here with us, and, truly, that’s enough. But, since some of you have been asking, the second most valuable gift you could give us would be a donation to our honeymoon fund. And, after some poking around the web as well as discussions with other recent marrieds who have gone this route, we have decided to forego the online middleman (many of whom charge fees) and ask that such gifts be sent directly to us. We have chosen the Dutch Antilles, of the coast of Venezuela, as our destination—specifically Bonaire and Aruba, islands that promise to offer relaxation, scuba diving, and freedom from hurricanes during the months of September and October. We are planning to leave a few days after the wedding, spending five nights in Bonaire and seven nights in Aruba. We are very much looking forward to marking the beginning our marriage with this new adventure, and we are hoping the trip will set the tone for the rest of our years together, years that will be partially drenched in sun, seawater, and rum-based drinks.

Much love,

Liz & Jon

ABC, or Visions of White Sand Dancing in Our Heads

It's been a while since posting, and we're happy to report that many of the bigger logistics are nailed down: we have a lovely venue at the Eagle Rock Center for the Arts; we have a great menu planned by the wonderful non-profit Homegirl Cafe (affiliated with Homeboy Industries); we went strictly commercial for our equipment and our bartender, but it's all in place.

As we've been working on all of this, and as we continue to plan the rest of the festivities, we're frequently bouyed by thoughts of our honeymoon.  Believe it or not, other than family trips or a Vegas weekend, the two of us have never taken a real vacation together!  So we're tremendously excited by our plan to go to the islands of Aruba and Bonaire in the Caribbean, off the coast of Venezuela.  (We'll have to return at some future time to Curacao, the "C" in "ABC Islands.")

What will we do while we're there?  How long will we stay?  Will we be fluent in Papiamento by the time we come back?  We don't know any of this yet, but we're looking forward to finding out.  We're planning on taking scuba lessons because Bonaire reportedly has some of the world's best diving.  And we're looking forward to some hard core sloth on Aruba's beaches.

If you've been to these islands and have tips for us, we'd love to hear them!  And we'd very happily accept contributions to our honeymoon fund!  (We are looking forward to -- nay, need -- this trip more than we need, say, any china!)


(Note: Our ABC Islands are not to be confused with this or this.)

Access

I have almost certainly broken the cardinal rule, but MS Access is up and running.  I can justify using Access because the songs table makes the DB relational.  You are all now records.

Which reminds me to remind you: help us put together a playlist!

STD

 

Jeez.  STD is wedding industry argot for save the date.  Duh.

How many artists does it take to change a light bulb?

Many of you got the original save the date card for the wedding.  The STD referenced the "Get Hubbied" art project we were doing in conjunction with some two dozen artists.  Many of you talked to us about our wedding planning in the early days of the planning -- fall 2010 through spring 2011 -- when we were doing this whole Get Hubbied thing.  Most of you know by now that we are no longer doing that.