Martha Stewart Weddings

Recently, my sister Claire was a bridesmaid in a wedding that is featured in the fall issue of Martha Stewart Weddings magazine. She's the second from the left. Flipping through this slide show, I'm struck by how our wedding is going to be absolutely nothing like this in any way whatsoever. No free tote bags for any of you people, sorry.

Throughout the planning process, I have purposefully avoided bridal magazines for precisely the reason that, reading this one, I began to feel a little panicky that we aren't going to have a charming vintage typewriter, a signature cocktail, a custom-designed booklet of our love, or a decor budget over $100. And even without the magazines, it has been really easy to get sucked into the mode of thinking that there is a "right" way to do a wedding: that it has to cost a certain amount; that there are baseline frills that, no matter their importance to Jon and me, personally, one cannot do without; and that it has to look perfect. That last mandate is the most insidious---especially for me, because I like things to look perfect. And this Martha Stewart wedding looked really perfect.

So, it is during these trying times that I return to my "Four Fs" wedding mantra: family, friends, food, and freely flowing booze: this is all that matters. Everything else is wedding cake. Which we are not going to have, by the way. But there will be a nice selection of desserts.