Lost & Found & Coming Attractions

Now that we've packed half of Sonoma County into our garage, got twelve uninterrupted hours of sleep (followed by a nap this afternoon for Liz), and bid the respective families farewell, we're about ready to start packing for our honeymoon, for which we leave late tomorrow night.

I am delighted by Liz's montage below.  And, of course, I do have my own such montage playing constantly in my head.  But I remain way too scattered and fragmented to say anything too coherent, other than the thing I just cannot say enough: THANK YOU.  Thank you for coming and sharing and participating; thank you for helping; thank you for all of the many flavors of generosity you exhibited; thank you for being a part of our lives.

But before we go, we did want to handle a couple of logistical matters...

Wedded Bliss

Here are some of the memorable moments that have been floating across my consciousness during the past 48 hours, in no particular order:

Having all of my pre-ceremony jitters dissolve upon hearing your cheers and applause, and then having SO MUCH FUN up there; Todd Polenberg delivering the line "I am the Solemnizer" in a furry tuxedo and top hat; hearing "We Do!" ring loud and clear; Sanjukta Paul singing "30 Days in the Hole," encouraged by Jill Jorgensen; my dad's "wildest dreams" line, and then his beautiful speech; watching my parents dance together; James Elmendorf and Kristen Reeg's incredibly awesome poker chip pinata wedding gift; worrying about Morgan Fahey possibly being dead, because her phone was on the fritz and it is totally unlike her not to get back to you, and then having her show up to the center with the most amazing floral arrangements known to weddings; how amazing my sisters looked; "Go Hawkeyes!"; time and again noticing Albert Lowe and An Le quietly taking care of business all night long w/r/t organization and clean-up, because they kick ass; my sister Claire Hamilton's making fun of me in her speech by calling wedding cakes fascist in a British accent, and also all of her dance moves; Matt Messbarger's assertion that I had "cold eyes" in high school; Josh Kamensky's toast to partners in crime; Captain Automatic's encore performance, on ukulele, of my bachelorette party song; the O'Kelly Family ruling the dance floor; David Hammer doing the splits for us at the end of the night (he was on spirit squad in high school); the Hora; dancing to Sweet Caroline as the last song; hanging with Todd, Dan Braun, and Matt O'Malley until 5 in the morning; the fact that I left the tag on my wedding dress; cuddling with Holly Myers and Heather Joy at the after party; most of all, looking out over all of you gathered there, and realizing in a very profound way how blessed we are in family and friends. I so wish we could do it all again.

More thanks to come, from Jon and me. But in the meantime, what do you remember?

Shuttle between Burbank Airport and Glendale Hilton

Just a quick note: if you are taking the shuttle from Burbank, they do not continuously circle.  You must call the hotel and ask to be picked up.  818-956-5466.

National Punctuation Day!

It has come to my attention that Jon and I are to be married on National Punctuation Day. Could there be a more auspicious beginning? I think not.

After the Die Is Cast

I've had this ear worm all day-- not a snippet of song, but a snippet of Sorkin.

One of my favorite episodes of the West Wing is "Election Day," from early Season 4, during that brief moment before Robe Lowe left but after Joshua Malina had already come on board.

Malina is Will Bailey, a tragic/comic figure: a liberal Democratic consultant running a campaign in conservative Orange County.  Long odds, even before his candidate died several days prior to the election.  But he keeps on, believing he can win.  He has a complex analysis, based on factors like higher than expected labor turnout, as well as depressed overall turnout because of the expected blowout and even because of the weather.  But really he's just quixotic.

His sister urges him to calm down and concede, just a few hours before polls close: "The die is cast."

His response, and my ear worm: "There's a moment after you cast the die but before it hits the table.  Breathe wrong and you'll change the way it lands."

I [heart] Joshua Malina.

BTW, forgive any audio sync snafus; I'm not a very good video editor.  Still: enjoy the classic Sorkin.

P.S.: Thursday is when I stop worrying about the breathing. 

A WEEK AWAY!

I can't believe we are only seven days away. Jon and I are hunkering down this weekend to iron out final details. He's a little more stressed than I am, but that's sort of usual. Its been nice, in this process, to have had big, intimidating tasks be not so hard in the end, once we sat down and talked about them. Sometimes thinking about doing something can make the task itself seem scary and complicated. The only way out of that is just to start doing it and see what happens.

Speaking of scary and complicated, check out these pictures of Jon's bachelor party that appeared in the LA Weekly!

Home Cooking

Jon and I are really excited to be using Homegirl Cafe, a non-profit restaurant and catering business, as our caterer. The cafe is a subsidiary of Homeboy Industries, begun by Father Gregory Boyle, SJ, in the Boyle Heights neighborhood of Los Angeles as a jobs program offering alternatives to gang involvement. One really cool thing about Homeboy is that they also run their own garden, so that a significant percentage of vegetables and herbs used by the cafe are, in fact, home-grown.

When we started planning the wedding, we met with a lot of catering vendors. A LOT. Some were big operations with mediocre food; some were small operations with amazing food but not enough staff for a 100+ person wedding; some were big operations with amazing food but were too expensive; a few were scam artists; and one was associated with some sort of vegetarian cult, which we awkwardly discovered during the tasting.

From the outset, Jon and I both saw food as pretty central to the wedding itself. A party just doesn't feel like a party without plentiful, good food. In most cultures, feasting is an inherent part of celebration, and as something that sustains and nourishes, food has a symbolic resonance especially suited to this occasion. But deeper into the wedding-industrial complex, it also felt important that we work with an outfit that shares our values. We wanted the spirit with which the meal is conceived, prepared, and served to be aligned with the spirit of our day.

There were a couple of real contenders, but after tasting Homegirl's veggie carnitas, there could be only one (that reference is for you if you are reading this, Leigh Bardugo). They will be preparing a Mexican feast for us---tacos, rice, beans, roasted vegetables, a quinoa salad, and fresh-made salsas. There will be margaritas at the bar. What more could you need? Oh right, meat. Oh well.

Beware of the LAPD

Apparently, David Hammer has come to town early.  We sincerely hope that he gets all of this silliness cleared up before the wedding.  Our hearts go out to Gina.

Martha Stewart Weddings

Recently, my sister Claire was a bridesmaid in a wedding that is featured in the fall issue of Martha Stewart Weddings magazine. She's the second from the left. Flipping through this slide show, I'm struck by how our wedding is going to be absolutely nothing like this in any way whatsoever. No free tote bags for any of you people, sorry.

Throughout the planning process, I have purposefully avoided bridal magazines for precisely the reason that, reading this one, I began to feel a little panicky that we aren't going to have a charming vintage typewriter, a signature cocktail, a custom-designed booklet of our love, or a decor budget over $100. And even without the magazines, it has been really easy to get sucked into the mode of thinking that there is a "right" way to do a wedding: that it has to cost a certain amount; that there are baseline frills that, no matter their importance to Jon and me, personally, one cannot do without; and that it has to look perfect. That last mandate is the most insidious---especially for me, because I like things to look perfect. And this Martha Stewart wedding looked really perfect.

So, it is during these trying times that I return to my "Four Fs" wedding mantra: family, friends, food, and freely flowing booze: this is all that matters. Everything else is wedding cake. Which we are not going to have, by the way. But there will be a nice selection of desserts.

Groomzilla

Planning a wedding is hard work. We will have had a whole lot of help from our friends and families, up to and including the day itself, and that's made a huge difference. We have also assembled what we are calling our Tiger Team: a task force of dedicated souls who will make sure the tables are set, the centerpieces are placed, that each guest can find her seat, and that I have a drink in my hand at all times.

Very special thanks is due, though, to my husband to be. Those type A qualities of his, which I admit I often find to be a pain in the ass in the context of the everyday, are truly shining. We had a two-hour logistics meeting this afternoon, mapping out all that needs to happen between now and the wedding and scheduling a play-by-play for the day itself. Would it ever occur to you to worry about who's going to make sure the sign-in book gets back to the hotel? How about assigning someone to collect the leftover alcohol at the end of the night? How about making sure there is someone to press "play" on the ipod for the processional march when the ceremony commences? And then making sure that person presses "stop" before taking their seat? Page after page of Excel spreadsheets detail all of these things, and more. And as tedious as it is to think about every last detail, it means we will be able to enjoy ourselves with you on the day, because most everything will be accounted for. So thank you, pookie!

This is not to say that this wedding is going to be a rigid affair. It means that, sort of like Disneyland, the unbridled fun is made possible because of behind-the-scenes machinations that, well, border on fascist. Though, I should add that my favorite part of the schedule is the part where I spend the afternoon in hair and makeup while Jon and the menfolk ready the space. See what a good team we make!